this snow again?

if i had my old blog
today would be a day i'd write
wanting to express to the chance of others
about
my swimming through the muck of time.

in my head
laying around pillows and couch arms and shoulders
i have exhausted myself with constant reminders
of my to do list
and never actually
doing anything.

i was reading
skimming through a casual coworkers words and she
posted herself as everything
that a pisces girl
is
And those words too really hit home.

i forgot them.
what a Pisces i can be.

sometimes i miss the view of the sky
from my old bedroom window.
and i hope the sky too,
sometimes misses its chance to glance
down and touch
little me.

today i did two good things
and didn't finish many other very good things.
i will have another day.

i just miss having windows open

light come in

and living off my skin.


and if i can't have that.
at least, could i be surrounded by hundreds of tall elms and oaks and spruces and pines?
and have my first cold, wet, gray step outside be
a crunching one against the grassy, hardened dirt ground?

no?

damn do i miss camping.